I am not sure if this is the right thing or not, I had my 15th year anniversary this week. I am emotionally and physically starving for attention but there is no connection with my wife and there hasn’t been for yrs, do I want another affair? Not really but what I want is a connection of some kind and I have been looking for something and I know that when you look for something it makes it more difficult to come across or is that just me? I was not looking for a affair when it happened and now that she gave up on me and moved on I feel completely lost and depressed more than I have ever felt in my life and I can’t seem to find a way out of this depression, I seem to just continue to dwell on her life watching her facebook daily looking at pictures of the time when we were together and now my wife wants to go back into marriage counseling and I know that It can’t not hut but I think the problem is there is no trust in this relationship we just sit in our own little corners and let life pass us by. She lost her job and things feel like they did five yrs ago when she sat at home all day reading and not giving a shit about the house I come home from work after 12 hours and the house looks like a piece of shit hit it . Do I love her? Yes as a person I do, but I am not in love with her, there is no connection. So where do I go? I am feeling really antsy and wish I knew the right place to look. Looking for answers seems so dark and difficult. I wonder if what I have done to myself ruined my life…?
By the time you read this, I hope you're feeling a bit better than when you wrote the post.
ReplyDeleteI can empathise. Truly. It's how things are here. It's how I feel too. We have good days, and some bloody awful ones. I've had affairs, in fact I'm in the throes of one now. It does make me feel better for myself, but it doesn't help the situation at home.
I think it takes patience. Infinite amounts. Question is - do we have the right amount to see us through?
I work with a lot of men--dicks. I am in law enforcement. Amazingly enough, most of them communicate with me like I am their wife or their girlfriend. I find that men and/or women once they "fall out of love" they just lose interest in the other. I don't have any advice for u unfortunately. Not married/never been married so I can't go down that road with u as far as telling u I know how u feel. However, I am offered all the the time a spot in their life to be the other woman. I choose not too because it's just not fair to me either. Is it? It's tough dating. I can tell u that much. Most people are very selfish or they won't give of themselves. I wish u luck though. I hope either y'all get track on the marriage thing or have the courage for both of u to leave and look for love again for both of your sakes. Will follow cuz I want to see what happens in ur life.
ReplyDeleteI think the first thing for you to remember is who you were before you met your wife? What were your dreams? What did you aspire to? When we get in relationships it's so easily to just exist from day to day especially when it's comfortable.
ReplyDeleteWhat I'm trying to say is do the things that make you happy, do things that make you feel good about you. You can love but don't lose or forget who you are as a person. At the end of the day affairs are just that! Recently going through “Infidelity Sobriety”, as explained in my last past I know what it means to have lost that connection, but it doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself in the process. Have a relationship with yourself, find out what and who you are? What do you really want out of life, and only then can you get the love you've always wanted it'll come right to you.
Meagan...
Ps. I don't know if you read my post but I'm sure there may be some things relatable...Many blessing to you and good luck.
I wish I had something super inspirational to say...All I have is look for whatever makes you happy and go after it.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.